Tuesday, April 06, 2004

i would like to apologize

for the advertising content that blogger put on my site.

i was checking for comments this morning when i noticed an ad at the top of my blog for a "church growth calendar - the first of its kind in the history of the church". my ever-curious mind (and need to be really ticked off by things on occasion) forced me to click the link. you can too if it isn't up there anymore.

i learned a couple of things at the connectionpower calculator.
1) people will pay for anything if they think it will help their church be "successful" (which of course means have more people in it today than it did yesterday)
2) the corporation church is still alive and well - i tried to watch the "introduction video" (because i clearly need professional help) and i had to turn it off after 30 seconds. i felt like i was watching a mulit-level marketing intro.
3) according to the calculator (i couldn't resist) jacob's well will cease to exist in about 3 years. that's too bad, i kind of like it. i did have problems making the system work though, I don't know what our "visitor volume" or "visitor retention" rate are. heck, i don't even know what our average QTR attendance is. i'm clearly failing somehow.

the problem may be that when i hear the word "assimilation" all i can think of is the borg (which may not be a bad analogy for the kind of church this system is targeting), but that may be because i am an enormous geek like that. there are also way too many charts and management systems and cycles and reports. i'm sure "loving people" and "being friends" and things like that are listed somewhere in the plan, but i couldn't wade that deep without subscribing.

is this really the point of church? is God satisfied when we get (and keep) more people in the front door than go out the back? if growth is the primary purpose of the church, why is the christianity of the bible so hard? wouldn't it be better from a PR standpoint to just tell us all to play nice and do the best we can? wouldn't that be more attractive and condusive to "visitor retention and assimilation"?

there's more i want to say, but it's hard to keep a train of thought while watching kids. i did just notice that when nathan gets excited and starts yelling what for him are sentences he sounds a lot like eric cartman (caution language). see? i'll try for more coherency later.

by the way, i know that some of you will be happy to point out that this post might run counter to my "can't we all get along" thoughts from last week. i know. i've already admitted that i'm eaten up with hypocricy. i've decided to embrace mine. how you doing with yours?

off to assimilate the kids.


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