words fail

friends, please allow me to introduce you to the quantum sleeper. "the safest rest you've ever had". this is a high-tech, high -security BED that can protect from hurricanes, fire, flood, biological or chemical attack, intruders, and presumably the monster that lives under the bed.

some of the features include: (get ready)

The Quantuum Sleeper comes with options for:
- CD player,
- DVD Screen with PC hookup, (so you can watch the first season of friends while mayhem reigns around you)
- Microwave and Refrigerator

The Quantum Sleeper comes with options for Cellular Phones, CB and Short-wave Radios

Air/Water Tight Sealing (in case of flood it could be a submarine i guess)

Toiletry system (i don't know, i wasn't THAT curious)

The unit can also be fitted with defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry. (SWEET!)

how afraid of the world would you have to be to voluntarily sleep in a tomb every night JUST IN CASE?

cowering under my weak stick bed waiting for the big one
j