Friday, February 06, 2004

my trip to the christian bookstore

yep. i had to go. it is one of those things that occasionally happens in my life. i had to stop in to my friendly (not really) neighborhood (well, its about 15 miles away) "christian" retail outlet.
some highlights from my adventure.

i was almost run over twice in the parking lot. once by a guy in a GIANT truck. when he realized he almost smashed me, he gave me the sheepish little "my bad" wave. thankfully he had a God bless America sticker on his truck, so i knew he was "one of us" and he would never intentionally be neglegent enough to try and kill me. the other was by a maroon MINI van with a church name (name withheld to protect the sad) and a coat of arms on it. seriously. a shield with a cross on it and then a sword over the cross. hmmm. no sheepish wave from this guy. i should never have been in his way, he obviously has battles to fight and victory to obtain.

upon walking in i was immediately confronted by a life size cardboard standup of george w. advertising the new book about his faith. i immediately shifted back to college days and thought about how cool it would be to "borrow" that and have it ride around in the passenger seat of my car.
i was also confronted by three scowling employees standing behind cash registers furiously working on something. none of them even looked up. certainly no smiles or "welcome to _________". geez. these people wouldn't last 10 minutes working at GAP. thankfully they can work in a "christian" environment that obiously lifts their spirits and... nevermind.

on my way to pick up my items i had to pass a stand of new worship CDs. ever curious, i stopped to browse. what i found is that there have only been 10 worship songs written in the last 4 years and so everyone has to keep redoing them over and over again. someday i will find the version of "in the secret" that is just right for me. alas, not today.

so i picked up what i came for and headed to checkout. now i'm nervous beacues they are all still scowling and all working hard at whatever. i'm dodging stacks christian candy and purpose driven corn flakes. i made my choice and smiled as i tried to find a place among all of the testamints (clever) and F.R.O.G. and D.O.G. bookmarks, fridge magnets and car air fresheners (seriously). if you don't know what those are (the acronyms, not airfresheners) thank God and move on with your blissful life, i'm not going to ruin it for you.
my choice of helpers may have been the best of the options available to me, but not good. she was unhappy that i had so many items that were different and didn't have bar codes so she had to TYPE IN NUMBERS on her register. then i had the audacity to use a credit card. everyone knows that credit is evil. the funny moment for me was when she looked at the back of my card to see my signature. i hadn't signed it. whoops. she had to ask me for my ID. clearly this place has had problems in the past with people stealing credit cards and then coming in and buying things. when all was said and done i told her to have a good day (she grunted in response) and away i went. thankfully mini van and giant truck had moved on.

this is why amazon is the happiest place on earth. none of those people work there.

thanks for letting me share
does anyone care about any of this?
you probably shouldn't


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